Golden Globes... yawn

Well, I forgot to grab the vodka on the way home and boy, was that a mistake.  At least I would have had the slight chance of enjoying the Golden Globes through beer goggles. I was so looking forward to the show!  I even bought a ClairSonic for the occasion, but nothing, and I mean nothing could have prepared me for the major fashion drought happening in Hollywood last night.  I have decided to host my own version of Fashion Police here at WOD, so please forgive my ramblings...

Lets start on a positive note, shall we?

Anne Hathaway - Armani Prive'

Thank you, Annie, for being the much needed breath of fresh air in Los Angeles last night!  As much crap as folks want to give Rachel Zoe, she puts Anne Hathaway in the perfect look for awards shows time and time again.  Anne looked statuesque and her styling was impeccable.

Amy Adams - Marchesa

This Marchesa looks gorgeous with Amy's hair and skin color.  Though I'm not jumping up and down about it, I think it's a good choice.  It's very figure flattering and architectural without being too overpowering.

Angelina Jolie - Atelier Versace

Congrats, Angie for not wearing black. Please get your hair done next time.

Halle Berry - Nina Ricci

Ok, so Halle Berry could wear Lady Gaga's Meat Dress and look smokin' hot, so it's hard for me to tear this Nina Ricci up with her in it.  I would love to know what Paul Giamatti said to her when he accepted his award, but NBC bleeped out everything they could.  Except Ricky Gervais introducing Bruce Willis as Ashton Kutcher's dad.  Tehehehehe.  Anyways, from the waist up is pure perfection.  The skirt, is awful and makes her legs look stubby.  Not a big fan of the cuffs either.

Nicole Kidman - Prada


Eva Longoria - Zac Posen

Eva, you are beautiful, but this dress is meant for someone who is not 5'2''.  Sorry.

Jamie Presley Emma Stone - Calvin Klein

Though I love Emma Stone's gorgeous auburn hair, she pulls off blonde and tan pretty well.  Her body looks flawless in this dress and the simple styling was spot on.  Well done!

Christina Aguillera - Zuhair Murad

Hmmmm.  Well, where do I start?  I love the silhouette of this dress.  It's the same silhouette as my wedding dress, but I hope to God that I didn't look this wide.  Ugh.  Xtina has looked a hot mess for a good solid three years now and I fear she may be her own stylist.

January Jones - Versace

I lurve this dress, but January looks so uncomfortable.  I know that she so wants to be the antithesis of the demure, conservative Betty Draper, and this was a huge risk. I'm not going to say she pulled it off, because I'm not sure she is super confident in it, but her hair and make-up were beautiful.  She always does something unexpected and though I've loved her looks in the past, I'm a little confused by this one.

Mila Kunis - Vera Wang

This was a successful use of the emerald trend on the red carpet last night.  Mila Kunis has the most beautifully haunting eyes and I think this color looks ridic on her.  Her hair is perfect and the lack of accessories was smart styling.

Natalie Portman - Viktor and Rolf

I love, love, love Flower Bomb Perfume by Viktor and Rolf, but that's about as far as it goes.  There is a pun burning my fingertips, but I'm gonna spare you this time. 

Flower BOMB!


Sofia Vergara - Vera Wang

Good Lord help us!  Sofia Vergara is the very definition of a man-eating life-ruiner and is so hot I can't even stand to look at her.  She is just pure sex and so lovable and funny when she speaks.  I think we would be great friends... except I would never go out with her.  I would feel way too inadequate!

Sandra Bullock - Jenny Packham

Sandra?  Is that you?  I can't tell because of your curtain of throw-back Speed bangs.  WTF?  She is such a beautiful woman and this dress could have looked beautiful on her, but the terrible hair and lack of make-up makes her look old old old.

Jennifer Lawrence - Louis Vuitton

I will admit, I had to Google this chick because I had no clue who she was.  At first, I thought it was Stephanie Pratt, but I quickly snapped back into reality because I was slobbering all over this dress.  LOVE!  Although I feel like the top could have been fitted just a smidge higher on her chest, the dress itself is absolutely gorgeous.  And the Roger Vivier heels.  Perfect.

Julianne Moore - Lanvin

Shocker.  J Moore wore Lanvin.  And she may need to have her left arm amputated since her dress is swallowing it whole.  I love Julianne Moore. She seems to genuine and happy, but this looks like a straight jacket.

Lea Michelle - Oscar de la Renta

Lea, you bother me.

Megan Fox - Armani Prive'

Yes, every man, woman, and child wants to bone you, Megan Fox.  She is another one who could wear absolute crap and look like a goddess.  I love this dress on her, but I would have liked to seen it in another color.  She looks beautiful, as always.

Michelle Williams - Valentino

Was this a joke, seriously?  I'm pretty sure I had some jean shorts in my Blossom days that had the very same appliques.  And I had a matching hat.  Whoa! 

Scarlett Johansson - Elie Saab

So do you remember when Reese Witherspoon first broke up with Ryan Phillippe and showed up at the Globes looking like sex on a stick?  Well, ScarJo didn't watch or attend that year, clearly.  She is such a sexy, fleshy woman and could have had Isaac Mizrahi grab her boobs on the red carpet yet again, but no.  She shows up looking like someones grandmother.  I've traded you in as my celeb BFF for Sofia Vergara as of last night.

Catherine Zeta-Jones - Marchesa

all photos via style.com

Though I feel like this dress is more appropriate for the Oscars, CZJ looks like Vivienne Leigh in drapes and you know I'm a sucker for Gone With the Wind.  She is disturbingly beautiful, always, and Michael Douglas looks fantastic and healthy.

So there you have it. I am praying that the Oscars turn out some better results.  What did you think???



  1. ha! Love all your takes on the dresses last night! I totally agree with you about Angie! Her hair was horrible!

  2. As a self-respecting man, I am the farthest from understanding "fashion-speak" as you could get!! That being said, this post is the ultimate example of why I enjoy reading your writings!! Hilarious....and still classy!!

  3. Your right on with your take of the dresses. I watched last night and was also bored at times.