Lord, help us...

Most houses have history, no matter how old or young, big or small, and the Greywalls house is no exception.  For the past couple days, we've had neighbors stopping by to give us the 411 on the crazies that lived in the house before, and now that we know the past, the inside of the house makes a little more sense. 

Evidently, a little old lady lived there once upon a time and planted a beautiful English garden.  She was an eccentric and collected antiques, like any little old lady should. Sadly, she passed away from cancer and her children took over the home, letting it go into disrepair. That is the nice version.  There is another version, but I am still presently conducting interviews.  I'll have to keep you up to date as the investigation goes on.

With that being said, that little old lady had very poor decorating taste, bless her sweet little heart.  Every inch of the flooring is covered pink tile that I have aptly named "Ten Year Old Pepto No.5".  There is not a piece of carpet or hardwood flooring to be found. 

And allegedly, there was quite a bit of horn tooting about the "$40,000 worth of drapes".  Perhaps they were purchased from Victoria Gotti's foreclosure a few years back?  Yikes...

My spray tan suddenly feels a little too dark.

This is just a tiny taste of the gobs and gobs of fabric that are holding the light hostage.  Every single window in the house has some sort of nauseating drape hanging above it and you can take your pic from the adornments, ranging from pearls to crystals. I call this style Mausoleum Chic.

Here are some pics of the kitchen, which will get a complete overhaul:

Isn't it great how the green knobs match the green drapes? And last but not least, these funeral home-esque light fixtures really bring it all together.

I'm exhausted from just looking at these photos! 


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